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Hi all,

I am a first-year student at a private liberal arts college. I have made many friends and I like my professors so that’s not the problem, so on the surface everything seems great. But what I am hiding from everyone is that I am absolutely miserable here. I had a sneaking suspicion I would hate it when I cried all summer about it but everyone kept telling me to suck it up and ignore it because “everyone feels that way.” And guess what, I was right. No, actually, I love the people I’ve met here, but I simply cannot see myself staying here. I don’t want to go into details but I can’t stay here for personal reasons, and I feel like I can’t tell anyone because I am afraid they will inevitably make it a political issue.

My parents forced me to attend because this was the only school that offered enough financial aid. When I hinted to my mother that I didn’t want to go here she tried to convince me that I’d end up liking it anyway. After a semester I strongly suspect that will never be the case. Academically, I made the perfect choice; but personally, I made the worst choice someone like me could have possibly made. I told her that I wanted to transfer recently and she seemed more receptive to the idea, but I am afraid that if I transferred somewhere it would be a “step down” from where I am now (I am a good but not great student – 3.8 high school GPA and many extracurriculars, but I’m not sure about my college grades yet and I couldn’t find time to join clubs this semester) and I would get too little financial aid to attend. I am going to be so busy next semester that I am afraid I don’t want the extra burden of transfer applications on my plate.

Further complicating matters is that my school has an “open curriculum” where I have no requirements and I can basically take whatever I want. I was so convinced I wanted science when I got here that I took almost nothing but science courses, and I am afraid that the longer I stay here the harder it will be to transfer to an institution that has required classes.

Should I transfer? Will it be worth it for me? Will it be worth it for my family?